I’m giving my notice on Monday to Wolfram & Hart. I cannot wait to release myself from the bad karma that place has placed on my soul. It was a job that provided for us when we needed it, but mostly It taught me a lot of things about myself and what I don’t want out of life. It made me realize that being a professor is my true calling and that I deserve to do what I love. I will not miss the stupid office politicking and jockeying for position, nor will I miss the misuse of my many varied skills! I took this week off to recover from the holidays and to prep for my spring semester classes. I ate way too much, worked way too hard on pleasing everyone, and didn’t really take care of myself or my apartment at all. Ugh. Have I mentioned that I hate laundry?
Onward (in two weeks) to professing! I am ecstatic about it. In addition to professoring, I hope to make some daily changes in keeping with my resolution this year to “be better.” That’s it. That’s the resolution. Little things, big things, just everything; I’m going to go at them with care and attention. Being more accountable, and just being a more moral upstanding person are part of this as well. I want/need/must change some things in terms of how I eat and think about eating. I have been using food as a kind of reward, a way to pass the time, and a way to make myself feel better during times when I can’t afford to buy clothes or take trips or go out to a movie. That’s changing now.
I’m not on a “diet” per se, but I’m trying to release some bad habits and become more accountable. I watched Forks over Knives, which is a good documentary about how processed foods and assumptions about meat and dairy have made us unhealthy. It’s a documentary that advises to eat a plant-based (vegan) diet and eliminate caffeine and processed sugars completely. Let’s be real, now, I can’t do all those things. If I cut all that out, I’ll fail at this thing. I do, however, want to stop being hypocritical about my lifestyle. I love animals, I know what they do to cows and pigs and chickens to get them to the grocery store. It’s hideous and wrong. I’m trying to cut out as much meat as possible, eat organically when I do eat meat, and truly think about where my food comes from. Even veggies and fruits have a life before they get to my table.
My mother worked for a time for a juice factory. Did you know that the beautiful fruit goes to the grocery store to be sold, and the ugly, almost spoiled (and partially spoiled) fruit goes to the factory to make juice? According to her, additives and coloring cover up much of the not-so-great flavor of these “natural” juices. Even companies like Naked Juice use this method (or “used” as this was years ago). I have been buying Ralphs brand orange juice because it’s cheapest and we’re broke. Is it worth it?
I decided that even though it’s more expensive to buy organic and additive-free, it’s worth the effort. And given the way I eat now, having to buy less food will only help my progress. My family has a history of diabetes and heart disease. My grandfather had several bypass surgeries and continued to eat rich cheeses and fried meats. The man lived well into his 80s, but he had his chest opened up more than 3 times. I’m a real big fan of my sternum, so I’ve got to do some preventative work.
I’m buying things I never thought I would buy. Seitan, tempeh, spelt flour, wild rice. And I’m trying to incorporate things I do love into my diet more often. I love vegetables. I love fruit.
I was vegetarian in the early 90s, and there weren’t half the things available then that we have now. Not only more choices in restaurants, but also at the regular grocery store. Trader Joes and Whole Foods are all close by and there are farmer’s markets in Long Beach, so I really have no excuse. I’m cutting out red meat entirely and replacing chicken and fish with hearty vegetable dishes whenever possible. M is likely not going to go as far into it as I am, but he said he’s interested in making healthy changes and trying new things.
So there’s that.
Other ways I’m trying to be “better,” include having a more positive outlook on my classes and the state of education in general. Giving more time to the craft and working on developing into a (more) worthwhile addition to any faculty that will have me.
I am a good wife (according to my husband anyway!) but there are little ways to be a better partner, like working my frustrations out through exercise instead of having “bad days” where I don’t want to do anything, or putting down the laptop and just hanging out when we watch TV or eat dinner. I’m notorious for being plugged in all the time.
Reaching low points (like tight size 16 jeans or a hideously schlubby DMV photo) has propelled these changes, but I hope they are long lasting, and make me feel better about the world I live in. My cat and dog have to grow up in this world. It’s got to be good for them.
damn lady. i just got out from my dr's appointment and it turns out i have high cholesterol. i'm super bummed. gotta work on changing up my diet.
I haven't eaten meat in 20 years and don't miss it one bit. Now there are so many substitutes that you don't need it! Good luck on all your changes and I hope every little thing works out for you!
Take care, Sue
yay for less meat! let me know if you want any tips or recipes!
Thanks for the support everybody! I definitely want any and all tips and tricks.