Running Around

These days I feel like I'm always moving. I seem to have a full plate! Teaching is getting to that point where the semester is on the downswing, though, so that feels nice. I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed and I think it's showing in my personal interactions. When it's me and one other person I know well, I'm pretty good. I might, however, be speaking in partial sentences the rest of the time. Seriously, unless it's written for me to say (like my lecture notes), I'm liable to go off the rails and make no sense whatsoever. Unbeknownst to me, mind you. I think I've said something totally normal and coherent.

And this is startling because Jack's finally sleeping good. Through the night and everything (knock on wood). M. and I get to have our evenings together, mostly just eating dinner and watching TV or chatting about our day. But my days seem longer and more intense. This little boy loves to play! We go for long walks with Radley twice a day if we can.

And now with the solid food and the bottles? It's like double duty on outfits, diapers, and taking him in and out of the high chair, walker, and car seat. By the time he drops after bath and bottle around 7-7:30, I'm so happy to sit on the sofa and read a book and not hear words or noises. And I have help!

I can't imagine what this would be like without a partner who feels equal responsibility for the baby's care when he's home. M. will come home and immediately feed him his dinner, take the dog for a walk, take down the trash, go get something from the store, whatever is needed. And he's attractive, too. Quite the catch. Without him, I'd be toast!

My mom had three of us and flew solo (dad didn't exactly believe in co-parenting). I don't understand how it's possible. I think of her strength and patience all the time. I see her with Jack and she's still patient and full of smiles, just happy to be around him. She works a full time job and has a lot to do at home, so she's a pretty good role model for taking the time to do the mom job well and still managing to get stuff done.

M and I got to have a real date night a couple weeks ago. Jack went to Abuela's for his first overnight trip without parents. He had a blast with his Abuela, Tio Luis, and Titi (my aunt Mirna). And we got to go out to dinner, have some drinks at our bar, and relax knowing we could stay out without looking at the clock.

Still in bed by 11, but damn if we didn't enjoy the break. Tough to see the empty crib in the morning though.

I'm really looking forward to the summer break. Some big plans for the summer:

- Take Jack for mommy and me swimming lessons! I guess you can start babies as young as one month. I figured it had to wait until after 6 months. Either way, this guy loves bath time, loves the water. I can't wait to see him in the biggest bathtub he's ever seen.

- I'm teaching a new class in the fall, Women in American Society. I'm looking forward to prepping for it and doing something new. Glad I have a full summer to do it!

- Fun times at grandma's house! I know that it has been a big sacrifice for my mom and brother to come out to watch the baby and deal with rush hour traffic both ways twice a week. This summer I will be able to come to them and Jack and Radley will enjoy the backyard, water games, and Abuela can chill out for a change. It'll be great bonding time.

-Serious crafting/painting/sculpting. I have been missing it real bad! I took some time out during our date weekend without Jack to organize the garage a bit and set up my craft supply station. I got peg board and put up all my tools and made everything much easier to find and access. It's no studio to work in, but I have a place to put projects and product for Sweet Lady Shop. I've been anxious to get more inventory together in time for Halloween. I want a big ton of items to post and some fine art pieces as well, for future endeavors.

- Visit from M's parents! Jack's Gran retires this year from teaching and has big plans to visit more often with Pops. I'm looking forward to seeing him enjoy his grandparents and having them around to share in all the milestones we've got coming.

-Beach time! I'm taking full advantage of the beach this summer with Jack. Hopefully he digs it, because there are plenty of options here for kid-friendly beaches and some with nearby playgrounds. I want him to grow up with a clear memory of the ocean like I did. Long Beach Aquarium will be a must too!

Well, nap time looks like it might be coming to an end, so I'm gonna jet.

Oh, before I forget, take my poll. I'm serious!

6 Months Old!

Can you believe it? Little dude is 6 months old today. He weighs in at about 15 lbs, and he's finally getting chubby legs, thankfully. He's been kind of skinny since birth, so his pediatrician was a little worried. She had me start him on cereal after our 4 month appointment, which surprised me a bit.

He's now eating solid food once a day (just a tablespoon or so), having some cereal in his bottle at night time, and thus sleeping a lot better.

He is a happy kid. His first tooth came in this week and I had anticipated a few sleepless nights, fevers, general unhappiness when that happened. He was a little fussy a couple of times, but that was about it. In general he is a really adaptable, happy kid who smiles when he wakes up and laughs on his changing table all the time. Seriously, you could have a crying baby, and unless he is super hungry, the changing table is his happy place. I can take him out on errands and so long as I pay attention to feeding times, it is never a problem. We don't eat out a lot, but the few times we have he's behaved really well. I wonder if all this is a phase or a sign of his temperament in general? I would love it if it were the latter.

The first three months were intense and scary and so overwhelming. I'm so glad he turned a corner and that I was able to get through it with my marriage and my sanity intact! He's interacting a lot and enjoys playing and chatting. He sleeps for 6-7 hours these days during the night. Some nights even longer. It makes life livable.

He sleeps on his belly most of the time, or on his side in the fetal position. He often scrambles for his pacifier throughout the night. I watch him on the monitor waking up, crying, furiously grabbing around for it in the dark, finding it, and sticking it in his mouth in relief. Sometimes, it gets stuck on his thumb, as you can see above. I've taken to leaving an extra one in the crib in case this happens and he can't get it unstuck. Hilarious.

I used to be soo tired. So ridiculously tired that I couldn't think. Either I've adjusted to very little sleep or I'm getting more rest. Regardless, things are better when you don't feel like every moment he's asleep you should be too. I have a team full of helpers (mom, brothers, and M. of course). They make being able to go to work possible. Having two days a week where someone comes over to help or take over are key to me being a person and not just Jack's mom. I'm really lucky.

So his 6 month "half" birthday is almost over. It's my 6 month Jackaversary too, I guess. What have I learned?

-Well, I am entirely too hard on myself for one thing. I knew this going in, but mom self-judgment is definitely something I ran with. I gotta work on that.

-I have more patience than I ever thought I would have.

-I am never mad at him. I thought I would get frustrated with him more. I get frustrated, for sure. I am just able to not direct it at him and try to keep positive. That was a surprising skill I didn't know I had.

-The world is a much smaller place now. I think about it in a new way.

-Eating at the kitchen table with the baby is life-changing. We often ate in the living room on the coffee table! Eating like real humans is nice.

-I don't have any weird competitive issues with other babies or moms, and I haven't been trying to push him into "advanced" skills too soon. I thought I'd be all Type A about him, but I'm just enjoying him and watching what happens.  Some babies sleep 12 hours a night (who are these babies?!) and some never sleep more than 4 hours in a row. I'm lucky I got someone in the middle, ya know?

-M., for all his worrying, is a natural at being a dad. He takes care of us all in a lot of ways, so I knew he would be, but he never has a problem with taking on any aspect of care for Jack. So different from my dad growing up. It's nice to see that he was raised so good! I'm a lucky lady.

-Poop is my life now. For serious. I think about it more than I used to with just Radley. Even though I thought about it a lot then too! I guess now it's the added poop notebook running in my head. "He was a little constipated so no bananas today and prune juice in the next bottle," is now added to, "must have been those new biscuits he's eating. Keep an eye on it just in case he ate something off the ground."


-Somehow, no matter how I place the video monitor in his room, Jack will find a way to sleep out of frame. I feel like if this were a novel, that would foreshadow our relationship in his teen years.

Here's to surviving 6 whole months!

Makeup Tips from Sweet Lady

I have been teaching myself some makeup techniques lately. I love video tutorials and step by step guides for doing cool things with eyeshadow. Watching drag queens put on makeup on RuPaul's Drag Race is amazing. Transformation is interesting and I'm finding it more fun for some reason. I'm not hiding wrinkles or anything, but I guess I'm growing out of whatever makeup rules I learned in the 90s.

90s makeup style:

It was either red lips and pancake or no makeup at all.

So here's what I've learned, for those interested!

A) I used to just use foundation and powder. Now I do some highlighting, contouring, and rouge.

B) Eyeshadow used to be one color for the lid, maybe another under the brow bone. Now I blend more and use more colors so I don't look like a paint by numbers!

C) Eyeliner is kind of my deal. I wear it all the time.

D) Lipstick is still a problem for me.

E) Eyebrow pencil is the one kind of makeup I wear when I'm "not wearing makeup."

So here's my tutorial for nice daytime work makeup. Nighttime is similar, with more dramatic colors.

Here I am at the start, with no makeup. Kind of blah, but not too bad.

People seem to love my eyebrows, but my secret is I have one that is totally messed up!

Step 1: Highlighting
 
Highlight by putting a shade of concealer lighter than your skin tone under your eyes, down the bridge of your nose, and on your chin. It should look weird, but don't worry.

Step 2: Contouring.

Using the darkest shade of my bronzer (which is not an iridescent or shimmery bronzer), I contour the underside of my cheek bones, the sides of my nose (on occasion), the temples, and under my chin.

It ends up looking like this:

Totally nuts! Also, frightening. At this point, the tutorials all have faces that look like versions of this:

This is a good map of where contouring and highlighting should be applied..

For drag queens it's even more dramatic. But we're all in drag to some degree, right?

Mine isn't so dramatic because I'm planning on seeing real people, and I don't want them to see thick layers of face makeup. For pictures, though, this works great. I look really good in my wedding photos because my one splurge was a makeup artist who made me look crazy in real life, but "pretty" in pictures. So, just FYI, if you're getting your picture taken, pack it on and don't forget your neck and chest!

Step 3: Foundation

Blend & add foundation. I take a foundation brush and blend the contour and highlighting into the skin a bit, so it's not so sharp of a contrast, then I layer my foundation over it. I dab the foundation so i don't smear all the areas around. For the record, I use MAC Studio Fix foundation. The sole reason I use it is that when I had my wedding makeup done, all the women in my party were there and as the foundation went on, everyone simultaneously went, "oooooh" so I asked what it was and have bought it ever since. Very good coverage and lasts long. If you're like me and you have scars or discoloration on the face, this highlighting and contouring business works really well to even out your skin tone and make it look flawless. People tell me I have good skin, and I don't have good skin at all. People might just be being bitches, but I'm gonna just take it as a compliment and move on.

Step 4: Rouge. 

I found that I look kind of washed out without rouge, even in the day time. Maybe it's because of my round face or something. I don't know, but instead of super pinky or orangy, mine is kind of a mocha color, which is good for day time.

Step 5: Eyebrows!

I pluck mine into a nice arch, even though they are naturally more of a roof-top shape. I do this by getting rid of a lot of the brows after the peak and fill it in with pencil in a way that arches side ways instead of down. This and other experiments have left a few bald areas over time! I start by filling in the areas that are sparse with an eyebrow pencil. I draw a straight line under the brow line to the arch.

Then I draw from the top of the arch straight towards the temple. 

 

And after all is filled in, I use a brow brush to even it out so it looks natural and not drawn on.  This also helps to fill in any areas that still need it.

Step 6: Powder

At this point, my brows are fierce and nobody can tell they have bald spots! Woo hoo!. I use a powder to set it all, dabbing a big fluffy brush all over my face. 

Step 7: Eyes!

I use a very light shimmery white or cream under the brow bone to highlight the outer edges of my eyes.

 

Then I cover the lid with a medium color.

 I use the darkest color in the crease, and I usually dab it in with my fingers and blend it.

 

If I need to do some correcting or more blending, I use the fluffy shadow brush I used to put on the highlight color. Sometimes if it's shimmery and I am going out at night, the highlight color looks good dabbed in the inside of the eye and on just the tops of the cheek bone near the eye.

 Finally I do the eyeliner. Going from the middle of the lid to just the outer edge.

My line is always a little messy because I don't usually do a straight cat eye. I tend towards a smudged smokey look, so after I draw on the line, I take an eyeliner brush to work it into the lid and lashes. You can use a brush like this to draw it further out as well, making the line thick and straight, though not as precise as a liquid liner you'd need to make a cat eye.

 If you like mascara, this would be the time to put it on. I do it for night time, but not usually during the day.

Step 8: Lips

Yeah, I just put lipstick on. No big tutorial there. It's kind of my weak spot. I can't figure out how to get it so it stays on for more than an hour. I must eat it. I tried those lip stains, but all they did was make me look a little vampirey. And I'd catch myself in the mirror and notice that it did stain my lips, just only in between the creases and on the outer edges, forming a distinctly chola look I was not into. Anyway, I just put lipstick on. Sorry!

 

Here's a close up of the eyelid. Shoulda taken all my pictures with the iPad Mini camera, it's much nicer. Oh well!

 

Dramatic eye makeup for night time involves a technique known as "cutting the crease" or making the crease well defined. Here's a good example.

 

A less intense and cartoonish version is below. It's just a matter of putting a very light color on the lid and a very dark color in the crease, with a medium color to blend them at the outer edge of the lid. 

 

I'm not advertising, but there are only a couple products I'm gonna name, and one is MAC (as stated above), the other is the eyebrow pencil made by The Body Shop. I swear by it. It's powdery but enough of a stick that you have good control. It doesn't look shiny, so you don't have that "sharpie" look. And it comes in three shades. When I dye my hair a light color, I also bleach my brows. The medium color works great for me then. The color I use now is the darkest chocolatey color they have. 

 

Tools:

As for the brushes, these are what I used for the whole thing above. From left to right:

Liner brush, full eyeshadow brush, angled eyeshadow brush, brow brush/comb, angled rouge brush, fluffy foundation brush, and  a big powder brush. 

I've collected them over the years and they range from cheap drug store brands to Sephora to MAC. Just get a good shape, a soft bristle, and keep cleaning them regularly and they should do fine for you for years. It's the hard bristles that tend to fall apart and shed all over you as you apply your makeup. I have tons of other brushes for different things, but these are my standbys for both day and night.


So there you have it. A tutorial about makeup from someone who isn't really known for great makeup ability! Just a regular Joan, that's me.

Anyway, this is my contribution to procrastinating on my midterm grading. Hope you enjoyed it!

DC Trip

The DC trip was a success! I did my presentation, I was unusually confident about it, and it got some great questions that weren't jerky. I didn't get offered a job or anything, but I found a lot of great possibilities for publication of my dissertation (in whole or in parts). So I'm counting it as a win.

I love traveling. I even love the travel part, with the airport and the metro stations, and the walking to figure out where decent coffee is. I love all that.

DC has some great sights, but I had seen a lot of them. It was supposed to be the Cherry Blossom Festival, where the city is blooming, but it was still winter and dreary, so not a blossom in sight. I went to the Supreme Court building as soon as I could to join the gay marriage folks in their demonstrations, but that ended the day before and the area was totally desolate. The court had adjourned the day before for the Easter break. Citizenship fail.

 Got my picture with the Capitol building anyway.

As a bonus, my friend Justine joined me at the last minute so I had a girls weekend in addition to a working conference trip. We had great dinners, we had many drinks, we went to a drag show that was amazing at a bar called The Green Lantern. Now, it was no Ripples Thursday night, but who could truly compete with Chad Michaels? Nobody. We had fun though:

I got to do something I'd been dreaming of for months. For a year, actually. I got to relax in a jacuzzi. When you get pregnant they advise you to not go into super hot tubs, so for the whole pregnancy that was out. Then after, well, not a lot of opportunities for hot tubs have presented themselves. And even if they did, I probably would have gladly chosen sleep. Anyway, the hotel had one, and I took advantage:

It was an indoor pool and spa, so it didn't matter that it was gloomy out. Look at how happy I am here:

It was pretty awesome. I'm convinced hot tubs could make me a better person. If I had one say, in my fictional back yard?

I walked around a lot, and thanks to some preliminary Yelp research, found a decent place for Chinese food, Great Wall Szechwan House :

Their chicken in black bean sauce was nice and spicy.


And on my way out of the city I got to have munchkins and an iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. Yum.

This also marked the first visit away from the baby overnight. And it was for 4 nights. I was a wreck before, and cried giving him his last little bottle. He was having fun though. The grandparents came out from Philly to help M. take care of him. They had a blast:

He did great, the babysitters did great, and daddy did great, as I expected. Jack did so good I was nervous on the plane that he'd wonder who I was:

He was a bit confused at first, but after he woke up from his nap and I was there to greet him, he was smiles as always.

The trip was bookended with religious rituals. On the day before I left, we had a Passover seder (sort of). I surprised the in-laws with a dinner, and they loved it. The actual seder part, where you read, and drink a bunch, and the plagues? We didn't really do that. Maybe next year?

And when I got back, it was Easter Sunday. 

I'm not big on religion, but I love ritual. So the bunny and the eggs and all that is fun stuff. Not into the Jesus part, but we don't do church (or synagogue) so it didn't figure into the holiday much. The extent of it pretty much was some cards and bunny stuffed animals, and this adorable outfit my mom bought him with a bunny on the butt!

So far, so good. I'm enjoying Spring Break now, so hopefully the rest of the semester will go well and go by fast. Summer looks closer than ever!