|She seems way too happy.|
Not only did I find out my schedule for next semester is shy one class (which means shy 1/4 of my already small paycheck), but I also found out I didn't get the tenure-track job I applied for. Wasn't even really in the running.
So I was already bummed in the early AM. This is an institution I have worked hard for since 2005, so I feel pretty let down. But hey, hard work and determination do not equal the American Dream. You can mention it a thousand times in your lectures, but it doesn't really sink in until you know, you're $180k in debt from student loans and you realize you're failing your family and maybe you should have picked something less 'fun' to do as a job. BUT I DIGRESS.
I tried to keep my head up on Jack's account. He's so happy and funny that I didn't want to harsh his mellow, you know? Either he picked up on it subconsciously or he's just teething because yesterday he was a grumpus as well! He normally is a total dream when I go to restaurants or coffee shops. I can't usually stay more than an hour or so, but while we're there he plays, eats snacks, smiles at waiters. Not yesterday. Tried to have a coffee date with BFF Brande and we were suddenly minions for the great toy launcher of Long Beach. He threw every toy and his puffs snacks. He whined about being in the stroller and then tried to launch himself out of my arms in every direction at the table. Had to split early! Maybe it's a phase, or maybe that's his thing now. Not sure, but it was like foreshadowing. He was crazy all day.
My morning was rough, but he took a nap when we got back, thankfully. Even though there was loud construction next door, he snoozed for about an hour. I spent his nap time looking for jobs and rearranging my desk (OCD furniture rearrangement is the story of my entire life). Started feeling hopeful about options. I ate a bowl of soup for lunch. I cleaned up my kitchen.
Then the beast awoke! He was all over the place. No toy or game or book would satisfy him for more than a few seconds.
He only ate his lunch because I am a clever performer who managed to get spoon to mouth without it getting smacked by a rogue hand too often. On occasion he'd smack it and see the food go across his hand and face and be surprised. Cause and effect, people. It's best learned by doing! He was really busy after lunch, trying to hit Radley, laughing when I scolded him. I decided to take off to Trader Joe's and do some shopping.
Despite the normal Trader Joe's experience (everyone in there believes they are the only person in Trader Joe's, so they leave their cart willy nilly in the middle of the aisle, are surprised when you say "excuse me," etc. ), it was relatively uneventful. Got myself some flowers to make me feel better. Dinner was set.
Got home, and after putting groceries away, giving Jack his snack, and letting him have some play time, I thought Radley needed a walk. I thought this because he stared at me accusingly and then nudged his leash with his nose.
I usually like our walks. It gets me outside and Jack loves to see cars and trucks and the scenery in general. But managing the dog and the baby while trying to get the stroller out of the garage is a bit of a pain on days like this. Radley pulls hard on the leash, Jack flails around in my arms. On this lovely day, I managed to get hit in the head by the garage door, and though I was the one seeing little blue birds circle my dome, it was Jack who cried about it! I actually thought his sense of empathy was so sweet, until he also cried when he threw his lego car out of the stroller, and when Radley did his business where he couldn't see him. I had taken a longer walk than usual in the hopes that they would both be worn out by the end, but I was the one worn out. Luckily, nothing else crashed onto my head and I did not have significant brain damage from the event. At least, I don't think I did.
The rest of the day he was a maniac, but I had given in to the mania and just played with him, distracted him a ton. He loves to play peek-a-boo these days, even though he totally cheats!
He also hit an interesting turning point in that he likes trying finger foods now. Not every time they are offered, but when he's in sampling mode, he'll try everything. I got him to like whole wheat blueberry waffles.
And at dinner with my mom and step-dad, he tried calimari, pasta, and sucked on a lemon. For serious. He likes sucking on lemon. I waited for over a year to give him lemon so I could see that scrunchy sour face and he just kept licking it and smiling. What a loon. My Mexican step-dad was very proud.
Anyway, I decided to focus on the good things in my life, like Jack, like our parents, like the fact that I have so many wonderful people in my life. I also thought about how much better I have it than a lot of people. You know, the usual first world guilt trip so that I stop whining and complaining. My bad day is a completely luxurious experience for a lot of people. I wasn't at work, for one thing. I was hanging out with my cute kid. The whole mindset reset made the later half of the day go much better. M got home and took over bath and bottle. I made a nice dinner. We ate and watched TV and relaxed. I called it a day and decided to head to bed early.
And then, suddenly, and totally off schedule, I got my period. DUDE. Seriously?
Sigh. Onward my friends. It's the only direction available. Upwards, we'll see about. But if you're in the mood to send positive vibes out, direct 'em over here.